Is there a job that doesn’t have rude comments about women? A lot of people might think that clergywomen get extra time off, but that’s not true. Both men and women who are spiritual leaders believe that a greater power has called them to their job. On the other hand, it looks like women are viewed differently than men.
A video project by the North Carolina Conference of the United Methodist Church asked male pastors to read comments that men had written to their female clergy peers. The goal was to bring attention to the problems that female pastors face. It’s not like the male pastors who decided to be in the video saw the comments ahead of time.
These are some of the comments they read:
“You know you’re going to hell. God does not let women teach. It says so in the Bible.
“Your robe makes me think of you naked.”
“A woman will never be my pastor.”
He said, “If God can use a donkey, I guess He can use a woman in ministry.”
“When you say, “This is my body given for you,” it’s hard for me to focus on Holy Communion because I think about your body instead of Jesus’ body.”
It would be enough if more men did what God asked them to do. Then women wouldn’t have to teach.
“You should watch how much you eat.” You don’t want to look like a teenager anymore.
“Our church is small and in the country, so we have to make do with what we have.”
“This little girl is our preacher.”
Everything that was said and how the pastors responded can be seen here:
The priests were shocked and angry at what their female colleagues were having to go through. A lot of people were shocked.
The video got a standing ovation when it was shown for the first time at the church’s yearly conference in 2019. The late Bishop Hope Morgan Ward of North Carolina said, “The video project has been a gift to women whose experience has been heard and honored, to men who have shown commitment to honoring clergywomen, and to all who have seen the video and been freshly awakened to the realities that are still among us.”
When one of the clergywoman said she became a senior pastor, her church gave her a big pay raise. But her pay was cut by $5,000 because the bishop said, “It would be bad for your husband’s self-esteem if you made so much money.” It could be hard on your marriage since your husband is also a minister.
DATA USA found that the average salary for priests was $51,967, while the average salary for clergywomen was $39,075 in 2021. At that point, 455,608 people worked in the church, with 80.3% being men and 19.7% being women. There is still a long way to go before women in the faith community have the same pay, respect, authority, and acceptance as men.
There are a lot of biases against women pastors. People often think that they are the pastor’s wife instead of the preacher. They are expected to help with their husband’s work as a preacher, make coffee for meetings, and do other tasks around the office.
Susan, a single pastor, was meeting her new flock for the first time. She was talking with a church member about how to balance work and life when someone asked her if she was dating or just worked too much. For Susan, it was strange that there were hints that she was gay and looking for a mate.
How should you answer when comments and questions are loaded with hints? A quick look at the situation and the commenter’s point of view can help you figure out what to say. There are times when it’s best to avoid comments and hints that are rude or not relevant to the situation. If you’re more of an open person, though, a direct answer could lead to a talk that changes everything for both of you.
