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Being a mother or father often (almost always) means juggling to make it to the end of the month. Trying to give your kids everything they need, while doing your best to hide how things really are at home..
. Parents are that cushion that’s always there (in most cases)
. But of course, they have a limit too, and even though we’re always their kids, there comes a point when they need everything to stop.
In Sherman Oaks, California, a 66-year-old mother (we’ll call her Rose to protect her privacy) was getting ready to start a new chapter with her husband. Her daughter had moved out, the house was finally free. Oh, freedom, what a beautiful name! With some luck, they could finally enjoy the famous “empty nest” after so many years focused on their daughter. But in 2024, at 27, their daughter moved back in, bringing all her expenses, of course. And with her, all their plans fell apart.
Rose says she and her husband spend more than $5,000 a month to support their daughter. And yes, she works, but with low wages and sky-high expenses, she can’t afford to live alone, damn inflation! And while it may seem like an exception, it’s actually the norm. Many young people are in the same boat: no money, no privacy, staying at our parents’ homes until we can save a little and move out with at least some dignity.
Parents who retire late… If they retire at all
This trend is hitting baby boomers the hardest, our parents’ generation. Many are delaying retirement, selling homes, skipping travel, or even going into debt to help their adult children. Because those children aren’t kids anymore, but they still can’t support themselves! Isn’t that enough reason for people to take to the streets?
Living with mom, but with adult expenses
Rose’s daughter came back home because she couldn’t take it anymore: rent was insane, her paycheck went straight to bills, and living alone just wasn’t an option (maybe not even sharing a place, have you seen those rent prices?). But it’s one thing to take someone in, and another to absorb all their costs.
Rose estimates they spend about $1,500 just on food, $700 on transportation, and another $400 taking care of her daughter’s cat. That’s not even counting unexpected costs. They don’t do it because they have extra money, they do it because they don’t want to see their daughter sleeping on the street. After all, they’re her parents, and where else would she be better than at home? Even if that means burning through years of savings…
Why don’t we move out?
It’s not because we don’t want to. It’s because we can’t. Between unstable jobs, absurd rent prices, and costs that keep going up, moving out is a luxury only a few can afford. And buying a house? Forget it. Many of us hold on to what we can—returning to our childhood bedrooms and making it work with what we’ve got. And it’s not just in the U.S. It’s happening all over the world.
When the problem is no longer just ours
More than 50% of parents in the U.S. help their adult children financially
. And one in three supports them completely. This not only messes up their retirement plans, it also creates tension and emotional strain. No one dreams of living with their parents past 30. But it’s the reality.
The “empty nest” is a lie
That idea of retiring peacefully, with free time and no responsibilities, is disappearing. What many parents are facing is a constant burden: adult children who can’t leave, even if they want to, because the circumstances won’t let them.
So now what?
Experts agree: it’s time to talk. About money, about limits, about how far things can go. Parents need to sit down with their kids and lay all the cards on the table, no taboos. Financial advice is also recommended, or even seeing “parenting coaches” who help manage living with adult children.
Because it’s not easy. Not for them, not for us. What started as temporary help is turning into a way of life that can’t be sustained. And the big question, the one many whisper to themselves, is: how much longer can we keep this going?
